Glue & Scissors

I lost it the other day.

Upon exiting the washroom in our hallway I noticed something that made me stop in my tracks and my brain explode out of the side of my head; there was a pair of scissors staring me in the face. There they were, perched on the lowest shelf in the hall laughing at me. There weren’t markers everywhere or toys all over the floor, but it was enough to turn me into a crazy mom.

I yelled for the kids and proceeded to turn into an irate ape. I pointed at the scissors and loudly asked, “Why? Why? WHY? Why are they here? Why are they here!? “

I got the typical shrugged shoulders and non-nonchalant “I dunno” reply which just fuelled my anger even more.

I didn’t care who put them there and I didn’t want to know. What I did want to know was why the scissors travelled from the kitchen table, past the bookcase and into the hallway to sit on a shelf when the bookcase that they walked past had just been tediously cleaned and sorted and organized with brand new boxes (that I paid a pretty penny for).

I hauled both kids over to stand in front of the craft supply boxes. I furiously extended both arms and pointed both hands to a specific box that was labelled ‘Glue & Scissors’. I yelled again, “Look right here. RIGHT HERE! What does this box say?” They both mumbled under their breath, “Glue and Scissors”. “That’s right! Glue aaaand Sccccciiiiisssssooooorrrrrsssss!” I said as I slowly pointed to the words. And then I think my brain broke because I proceeded to say glue and scissors a million times over and over again, changing my tone and volume and speed and inflection every time.

I began extending my arms over and over again as though I were on the tarmac directing an airplane, “GLUE and scissors. GLUE and SCISSORS. glue. and….wait for it…SCISSORS! glueandscissorsglueandscissorsglueandscissors. glueandscissorsglueandscissors. glueandscissorsglueandscissorsglueandscissorsglueandscissors. glueandscissorsglueandscissorsglueandscissorsglueandscissorsglueandscissorsglueandscissorsglueandscissorsglueandscissors. GLLLLLLUUUUUUUEEEEEE and scissors. Glue and SSSSSSSSSSIIIIISSSSOOOORRRSSSS!

I think that it was just one of those ‘the straw that broke the camels back’ scenarios. I loaded the kids up the week before and took them all the way to Ikea to buy boxes that were on sale so we could try to start the school year slightly more organized. I spent two days putting the stupid things together, another half a day sorting through all of their crap and then a few more hours organizing and labelling. A lot of my time and energy went into this.

So to come around the corner and see a pair of scissors lying on the shelf (not to mention it’s just been the kids and I and a messy house for most of the summer so I’m pretty much at my wits-end) was enough for this mommy to act like a toddler.

Surprisingly we went on to have a fairly good evening after that.

They haven’t left the scissors out since. Toys on the other hand…



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2 responses to “Glue & Scissors

  1. Maybe I should try that over here with the glue and scissors and markers and coloring books and dolls and hats and lego and . . . . and most of them actually have labelled containers for them. Instead, I choose to walk outside and build something and deal with it later. I will try “changing my tone and volume and speed and inflection every time” – that just may be the trick! 😉 Glad to know there are other half-crazed moms out there.

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