Often when I’m having a conversation with new moms they start to complain about being tired and having the feeling as though this baby stage will drag-on for a million years and they’re never going to sleep-in or feel like themselves again. I always try to reassure them that it does end and sleep will return and you will get some normalcy back (albeit a new normal). I let them know that I was once where they are and that now my kids watch Saturday morning cartoons while eating a breakfast they made for themselves without even waking me up!! I let them know that James and I can finally focus on each other again after a few years of feeling like everything revolved around bum-changes, nap time and diaper rash. Heck, there was even a little while where James and I had time to spend together when he was on his days off and the kids were at school. Bliss.
But now we have Eli and my daily internal dialogue goes something like this, “This is never going to end! I’m so tired and I’m never going to get a full nights sleep again! I’m on call 24/7 for the rest of my life! What day is it? Did I shower today? Why hasn’t the mailman come? Oh, wait…I just got the mail.” That string of thoughts is usually followed by, “Wait, it’s ok. Everything is fine Bria. You know this stage goes by quickly. Enjoy that cute baby while he’s little. He’s gonna grow so quickly and then you’ll have your hands full! It’ll get easier in the blink of an eye, just give it a few months and besides, he’s giving you stretches of 4 or 5 hours of sleep every night. You’re fine!” Which is then followed by, “What’s that on my pants? Barf? Poop? I dunno, o-well, who cares anyway. When was the last time Rhys had a bath? Last week? Ok, that’s not too bad. Where did my coffee go? Cold, again! Bah! I can’t think straight! I’m soooo tired! My face is melting! I just want to sleep!!!”
I have this thing that I have to battle. I tend to live a step or two ahead of myself all the time. I have to constantly slow down and enjoy what is happening in life right now, today, and not try to speed-up the weeks and months to get to different stages even though might seem easier (or at least less sleep deprived).