I can now say for certain that it is extremely awkward to receive bad news in a public place. Not to say that it’s ever a nice thing to get bad news, but there are more ideal locations than the mall or a Starbucks.
I got a call from my midwife this morning as I was sitting outside of a Starbucks at a mall. Double wham-y. I listened carefully as she read-out my ultrasound report, trying to hear her over the chatter of my kids and mom. I began writing things down because I knew I’d forget exactly what she’d said and the terms she had used.
When I got off the phone with her I quickly collected my things and choked back my tears as I went inside to locate the kids and my mom, who had ventured to a nearby store. As I walked over my composure rapidly crumbled and my watery eyes and quivering chin turned into streams of running tears and broken words and sentences. We went over to a bench and I relayed, between sobs, what the midwife had said. There could be complications…
The news every expectant mother hopes to never have to hear. Turns out I heard it today, at a Starbucks, in a mall, with people walking by and watching me come undone with the thought of what this means for our baby, for us. It was awkward but I suppose you get to a point where it doesn’t matter because you’re trying to wrap your mind around what you are hearing.
There is a possibility that our baby could have some heart issues which could be a marker for potential genetic disorders (or it could just be issues with its heart). There were a few things on the ultrasound that didn’t look right so I need to go to genetics to have a fetal assessment done and we will have more answers given to us at that appointment, or they’ll give us the all-clear and say it was nothing or that baby was originally in a bad position or that things evened-out and grew properly. Of course we are praying that it’s nothing and that baby will get a clean bill of health, but it’s hard not to worry when there is a list of things that looked ‘wrong’ and their recommendation is for you to get an amnio and a genetic assessment done.
If you are the praying type I would ask that you join with James and I this next week as we anxiously wait to hear about our appointment and our little one’s health.