Before James and I got married back in 2004 we attended some pre-marital counseling sessions, not because we had issues, but because it’s a good idea to hammer out some ideas and expectations regarding marriage before you join your lives together. One of the topics we dealt with was family planning. I’ve always known that I wanted to be a mom and James has always wanted to be a dad, but in thinking about the timeframe or when a ‘good’ time to start a family is, we figured we would wait awhile. Our thoughts were that if we were getting married at the age of 21 then we would wait until we were 27 to start a family. That would give us a few years for our ‘honeymoon stage’ and a few years after that to establish ourselves, get a home, and have some money put aside. I knew that, whatever the outcome, I wanted to have ‘family stuff’ squared away by the time I was 30. Sounds great on paper, doesn’t it? A solid plan.
We were married in October of 2004 and I had turned 21 just two days prior. Settling into married life was a cinch…that is until I went to the doctor at the end of January and found out I was pregnant. We were terrified and excited. It just wasn’t that common to get married and have a baby at the age of 21. Almost all of my friends were just starting to date, let alone settle down and start a family. But it happened and we adjusted.
Fast forward a year-and-a-half. Our little guy turned one. James and I decided that we wanted to have our kids close together so that they would be able to play and be friends. Along came Amelia Kate. It was 2007 and I was just 24. We had a sense that our family was complete; a boy, a girl, the “million dollar family” as everyone told us. James was quite pleased with where we were at and, having been so young and newly married, we decided to stop there. We liked the idea of being a family of four. Our kids get along well with each other, there’s one for each of us, I have two hands and two kids…it just made sense. Plus, kids cost money and James has had plenty of ups and downs with jobs.
We decided to make things official and, since I did the childbearing, James could take the plunge and get snipped. We had his consultation appointment and he has his surgery booked. Both James and I are 28 now. This put us ahead of schedule for having family things squared-away for our big 3-0.
But, our plans never work. We try to sit down and lay-out 1 year/2 year/5 year plans for various things and we always feel like we’re (at least trying to) follow God, but he swoops in and has a different idea, a whole different road map. Which is okay, because looking back on how things have worked-out, I wouldn’t have it any other way. It’s just hard when you’re in the midst of the changes. We thought that maybe this time, maybe, just MAYBE our plans would work.
So there’s that.