When I grow-up.

There are a lot of little things that I’m good at; I’m not excellent at them, I’m just good at them. They are things that I enjoy doing like baking, acting, crafting, sewing, writing, listening, photography, cooking, being a mom, painting, decorating and gardening just to name a few. When I think about what I want to be when I grow-up I usually run through this list and see if something stands out. Different things standout at different times for different reasons.

 I love baking and I think it would be awesome to learn how to be a better baker. I want to move past cookies and muffins and breads and tackle more challenging cakes and desserts and pastries. I think that I would be a great baker.

I love acting and for that reason I think that I would make a good high school theatre teacher. I tend to work well with youth and I know that theatre attracts a certain type of teenager…one that I can relate to. It would also love to have the summers off to spend time with my kids.

 One thing that I wanted to be when I was younger was a photographer. I wanted to attend the Emily Carr University of Art + Design and become a photographer for National Geographic. I still think that photojournalism would be awesome. I could definitely see myself doing that.

And then there’s Horticulture. Oh boy, how I love horticulture (although you wouldn’t really know it to see my backyard right now…ugh). It’s something that has only grabbed my interest in the past few years. I’m not surprised that I’ve fallen in love with horticulture because I come from a line of successful gardeners. You will often find my sister and I talking plants and backyards and crops. It’s something that is exciting and, I’ve realized, takes a certain skill set to be good at. Working with plants and digging around in the dirt all day is something that I can totally see myself doing – and LOVING.

When I think about my dreams and what I will end-up doing with my life I need to strip all of the superficial motives away: the money, the title, the recognition. I need to dig deep and find what will make me happy, what I can be content doing. When I stop and think about what I actually want it’s easy; to live simply. I remember this and I return to my underlying dream – own a hobby farm.

I remember going on a field trip to a hobby farm in grade 2. That’s when I fell in love with having land and animals and a huge garden and a big farm-house. I decided to repost this blog (below) that I wrote way-back in 2009 about my hobby farm heartache because it describes it perfectly.

 Hobby Farm Heartache

 I anticipate the arrival of a few magazines every month; Style At Home, What’s Cooking, Canadian Gardener, and last but NOT least, Hobby Farms. I know that I’ve blogged about homesteading before, but since receiving my last Hobby Farms magazine in the mail this past week I feel as though I’ve been going through some ol’ hobby farm heartache. Bizarre, I know. When I open up the mailbox and see my nicely packaged brand-spankin’ new magazine sitting there I get excited…possibly a bit too excited (I did a happy dance last time). I love everything about this magazine because I get to read about people who are actually doing what I dream of doing. I get to read about sheep, goats, ducks, chickens, donkeys, alpacas…all things that I want to have on my farm one day. One particularly good read in this months issue was all about Blossom-end Rot, which all of my lovely tomatoes suffered from during our last growing season. I learnt what the rot was, what the cause was, and how it could be treated and fixed. Very beneficial if you ask me. After I finished reading this months issue of Hobby Farms I curled up on my bed and felt like crying…I felt as though my heart actually hurt. When James came upstairs he noticed something was wrong and I began (again) explaining my dream and how I would love for our family to live on a homestead. I want my children to grow up taking care of animals and working the earth. I want them to understand what hard work is. I don’t want them growing up like cushy suburban kids who get a Blackberry for their fifth birthday and experience ‘life’ through their Wii. I feel like my dream is so counter-cultural that I often lose touch of it…or I just push it so far back into my mind because it feels so far away. When I read through the pages of my magazine all of what I hope and dream comes flooding out…oi. So I’m left with hobby farm heartache and I have no idea what to do about it.

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2 Comments

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2 responses to “When I grow-up.

  1. I feel your heartache. Mine isn’t for a hobby farm, but it is for a simpler, more sustainable life, and for all the little ways I can enact that goal. Maybe it would be helpful for you to brainstorm ways to raise your kids the way you want to even while in the city? For example, giving them one little row in the garden to tend, or their own flower pot.

    Don’t give up on your counter-cultural goal, I think it’s right on track! And if you ever do get a homestead, I’d love to visit!

  2. http://urbanhomestead.org/

    don’t let it be a out-of-town-sometime-in-the-future type dream. start now. recommit to making it happen now, with what you have right now, and where you live right now. start small and add to it little by little. be inspired by gayla trail and act on what she’s taught you. change how you look at food, at feeding your family, and at how you’ve organized your life. try to incorporate the essential skills you need to develop in order to suceed on a hobby farm into your routine right now. dig up the front yard. plant some crops. (then one day when we do have the ability to get some land we’ll be ready and it will be glorious).

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